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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wasting Time which takes a weird turn to talking about my Mom...

I should be working right now but...well...I have very little job motivation right now. So, I'll blog. What about? Most likely nothing. I'm too awake to do nothing and too sleepy to be witty and too unmotivated to do the pile of work on my desk so I suppose I'll just write a few lines, waste a little time, then start to feel guilty about not working and go back to work. I really should have been Catholic or Jewish with all the guilt I carry. I guess the only thing keeping me from it is the lack of an overbearing mother - I hear that before you can convert to either you have to prove that your mother is meddling and overbearing by playing a minimum of 3 voicemails, recorded back to back, where your mother couldn't stop giving your voicemail advice and talked so much she ran out of time...twice.

I guess I'll have to remain in my current religion (which is still being defined) because my Mother leaves short messages that are something to the effect of, "call me and let me know you are alive" or "I haven't talked to you in two weeks - just letting you know we're alive - no need to call, nothing has changed so we don't have anything to say." I read a book once made up entirely of a woman who wrote down the things her mother would leave on her answering machine. It was hilarious. I don't know if it would be hilarious if it were my mother...I can't picture her telling me that my womb was drying up like a desert, staying hydrated only by the tears it cried over being lonely...but it makes for a great book if your Mom does stay stuff like that. I need to write a book and have nothing to write Mom and I need to have a chat...she needs to step it up a notch or I'll have to have a casting call for a Catholic or Jewish mother.

OK, the guilt that my non-denominational-evangelical-type mother instilled in me is kicking in so I can spend no more time on this blog during work hours. That was my little mind break...back to work!

1 comment:

  1. I'll lend you Rose's sister. She needs someone to cast her guilt on and Rose is In No Mood to put up with it lately. Have you ever met a Jewish mother who had no children? Well, that's Rose's sister. And she needs some. Welcome to the tribe. We'll be throwing a Passover Seder in March, I'll send you an invitation. :)