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Friday, March 18, 2011


I am in my parent's home. It is not where I grew up. I have never lived in this house so I don't know if I can call it home. I love them and I am so happy to be with them but I hate that we are so distant. Not just in distance but in emotion. I have always sought their approval and acceptance and right or wrong I always feel like I fail. Today was certainly no exception. I wish I knew how to not need or want this. I wish I knew how to be enough for myself by myself. I sadly do not. It shreds my heart when my mother does not care that I am moving closer. It hurts to feel her silent disapproval when I speak of my partner. I want her to see all the other things about me that she can be proud of but sadly I don't think she sees anything but what she perceives as my lost potential.

On the up side I guess I know what I will be discussing in therapy next week.

I love you Mom. I hope we learn to relate to each other better before our chance is gone.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1 comment:

  1. Well your family here sure does care that you are moving closer! You are an amazing person. I'm truly sorry that your folks don't always see that, but know that we do, all your friends do, and you girl does. Love you!!