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Friday, April 30, 2010


My camera is collecting dust. It travelled with me to the UK and didn't come out of its bag. Many reasons, none important. I have trouble being the me that is me. I am analytical and creative at the same time but it is hard to have one foot in each world. When I analyze the creative suffers. When I am creative the analysis suffers. How do I find a balance? I'm not quite sure.

I realized today that I am the last holdout of my friends to have kids. I wonder what this says about me. My friends either have them or are trying to have them yet I am stuck in a 20's mindset of thinking that I am too young...yet in truth I am too old...I would be a high risk pregnancy if I were to decide on that route. I still don't know that I want kids but I think that I don't want them for the wrong reasons...I think that I don't want them because I HAD one and placed him for adoption. I have a hard time relating him to what if that were true of children I raise? OK, that is a much deeper blog for a much deeper time.

Anyway...this was about photography. I need to get my camera out and start snapping. That was my goal this year and so far I am only partially successful.

More to come on the kids thing...I obviously have thoughts on that and they are unresolved.

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