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Monday, November 17, 2008

In need of a vacation

I am itching for a vacation. some sort of a rash that keeps spreading until you drop down on the floor and roll around in some sort of "i got the spirit" shakes to scratch the itch. I got a new camera and it is itching to be taken somewhere pretty...somewhere fabulous...somewhere lovely.

About this time last year I went to Maine with my family. This summer I spent a little time in Alaska...but it was so fast and furious that the relaxation and experience seems like so long ago. This year has been intense. Work wise it has been a roller coaster. Normally I like roller coasters but this is the kind that makes you feel like your skull has turned in to a Cuisinart and made brain margaritas and you need to throw up. Susan's work has been this way too. She's leaving, she's staying, she's going to Superior, she's staying at St. Francis - all for good reason mind you (I'm not accusing her of being job fickle). We've had a death in the family, trials and tribulations with the little dog, moving get the point.

Vacation. Somewhere that cell phones don't work. Somewhere with water. Somewhere with cheap drinks. Somewhere with an ocean breeze. A massage, some snorkeling, a good book (on my new KINDLE). Maybe I just need to feel a purpose in life rather than a break from life.

I look at what I do for a living. I like my salary but I don't like that I don't contribute to the world around me. I do finance for a company that sells stuff. I can't say that I get all warm under the collar about that. I feel like I'm missing something in life. That some essential component to contentment is just out of reach - and that it has to do with how I make my living and spend the majority of my days. At the end of my life I may be proud of the career I built and the promotions I've had but will I be proud that I had the job that I did and felt like I made a difference?

Probably not. So a vacation is probably a temporary fix for a bigger issue - but what a nice fix it would be. Time to make the commute home. Oh boy!

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