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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Practicing Gratitude

My life is so busy, even when I am sitting still.
I fill every moment with activities, thoughts, feelings, sounds, sights, sensations.
Even when I sit to relax my mind is active.
I watch TV but it doesn't relax me it only distracts me.
I want to practice mindfulness and being present. I can be present for others and hold space for them but I struggle to be present with myself.

Happiness is not a feeling. Happiness is a choice.
I believe that happiness is rooted in a knowingness that your life has meaning and being grateful for that meaning and for your life.
Even in the hard times knowing your purpose and meaning and practicing gratitude can allow you to be a happy person. You may lack the feeling of happiness but you won't lack the knowledge that, as my favorite saint (Julian of Norwich) says, "All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."


I know my life has meaning and purpose but I am not always clear on what that is. While I search for that purpose I will practice gratitude.

I am grateful for love. The love of my partner and best friend. The love of my family. The love of friends.

I am grateful to be a work in progress. I'm grateful for the chance to grow and change and learn. I'm grateful that I have people around me who accept and encourage these changes and tolerate me when I enter strange periods of thought or feelings and love me through them.

I am grateful for things I often take for granted like running water, a refrigerator, plentiful supply of food, and knowing where I will eat and sleep every day and night.

I am grateful for alone time. This time of the week where my partner is at work, the house is quiet, and I can sit and be silent.

I am grateful for the people in my past. While I have released them from my present, I'm grateful to have known, loved, and been loved by some lovely and not so lovely people. Some of them I miss in my life, others I'm relieved to no longer know - but I hold a place in my heart for every one of them who I called in to my life for that season.

I'm grateful for those awkward endings...not unlike this one. Goodnight. 

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